On the $1000 Mint Julip, available at this year's Kentucky Derby:
Ah, at last. Something that says I am beyond disgustingly rich. Sure you already
wipe your ass with hundred dollar bills, but people couldn't SEE you doing that.
A golden globlet and a silver straw! House boy, come rub my feet. No not with
your hands. With the giant panda foot. No, that's the backrub giant panda foot.
The other one, next to the rhino penis.
Oh, never mind. Now I need another wad of hundreds...
Somewhere between Nonsense and No Sense At All
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Important Sidebar Facts
- This blog is probably late, behind, and/or delayed. I am so very sorry and I will do everything in my power to catch up, make up, or otherwise atone for my sins as a writer and human being.
- Remodeling a house is hard and expensive. I wish it cost less money. More money would be good and please send me money. Boo-hoo.
- Having twin babies is also hard. However a lot of stuff they do is cool. I will do my best to express this feeling in more robust, expressive terms, but will probably in the end fall back on terms like "sweet", "awesome", and "cool". I will also occasionally throw in an adverbial "pretty" in front of those adjectives, the worst sort of grammatical heresy. This occurs for the dual reason that sometimes the ups and downs of parenting are difficult to articulate and also because this section of the blog usually gets written last and therefore is most likely to suffer serious writer fatigue.
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