Red Storm Rising

While Vladimir Putin has been making me a wee bit uncomfortable with his slow ramp-up return of Soviet-style totalitarianism, this blog title refers not to a Tom Clancy-esque return of the Cold War but to an actual storm on the Red Planet. Mars is in fact notorious for its gigantic, planet swallowing dust storms that can literally last for months. Nothing on Earth can really compare because, to put it simply, the Earth is wet and Mars is not. Firstly, on Earth any dust storm that starts on land will eventually hit the sea, or at the bare minimum land areas significantly less dusty (i.e. things grow there), which kills the storm by shutting off its source of dust. Secondly, on Earth the temperature of the air (and therefore storm behavior) is driven by its water content^. On Mars there is no water, so the very fine dust of Mars can drive the temperature up and down like water moisture does on Earth. It should also probably be noted that Mars has about 3.5 times less surface area (although nearly identical in area of dry land), so planet-wide storms are a bit easier to conjure.

Presently Mars has one hum-dinger of dust storm going on. It is in fact gotten so bad that it threatens the survival of the Mars Rovers. The above photo series was taken by the rover Opportunity over the course of 30 sols (Mars days) at the same time every day. The increasingly dark and hazy sky shows that the poor, little robot buggy is trapped in the middle of an increasingly hellish dust storm. The Mars Rovers are powered by solar panels, but the storm is now so thick that only 1% of the normal sunlight is getting through. To conserve power the weak R2-D2 wannabes have stopped all activity and are just hunkering down to ride out the storm. The danger is that they won't be able to keep their vital innards warm enough with such low power levels. It is enough to make one want to find a deep pit in which to ride out the storm, but where on Mars would you find such a thing?

I have no segue from Mars storm to house remodel and frankly I think such transitions were becoming a little tortured anyway. Not that I won't use one next time -- I am a sucker for the strained segue -- but I just wanted to acknowledge that I knew I was doing it.




To reorient you, here is a photo of our new two story addition, as seen up through our tree. Now our main contractor left for a couple week trip (not that it is any of your business, but the place he went rhymes with His Reel) so things have slowed just a notch. His partner (who has the exact same name...so confusing) has taken over the oversight of the project, but he is not pushing nearly as hard to move things along. And rightly so, as he is not nearly as familiar with the project and speed at this point would probably lead to mistakes. Nevertheless, we now have stairs and a second story!



Here is our new stairwell that climbs beanpole like into the velvety clouds. Will an ascent bring me a singing harp and a precious metal laying goose or will I just get stomped flat by a giant with an acute olfactory sense? Will I triumph over adversity and win the hand of the beautiful princess or will I simply be ridiculed for selling my inheritance for a lousy bag of so-called magic beans. And if I do manage to snag a hot bit of royal ingenue, will I end up on the wrong end of the present wife's new found knife skills or will I be able to convince her that fairy tale princesses fall under the Celebrity Clause. Only time will tell. Or, alternatively, I could climb the stairs.



Here is the upstairs loft or as much of it as I can fit into my camera lens anyway. Please note the large windows that appear to the right. The cool thing about a second story is that you actually get a view.



This is looking out that set of windows we just saw. On this side of the house is all manner of flora, so that is mainly what we see. No need for these neighbors to get too worried about privacy as there are sightline-blocking trees and bushes in abundance.



Here is a closer look at that view. Again it is a veritable jungle. If you squint you can just make out a roof in the distance. It should give a very nice window into nature feel up there.



Our neighbors on the other side, however, probably feel a little more loomed over. What can you do? Instead of the window into nature, this side looks out over all the homes of our neighbors. You feel like you are the highest thing around. There are actually some other two story houses around, but none are immediately obvious form this view. Anyway, if our neighbor on this side had been planning on doing a lot of nude sun bathing, I can only hope this discourages him. Seriously, I don't need to see that.


I would be remiss if I did not mention it was Harry Potter release week, with the seventh and final edition having been delivered to our door this Saturday. Here is a news falsh to everyone who waited in line at midnight to get the next book: They printed roughly one bazillion copies and you can get it anywhere, including Costco and the supermarket. You could have gone to bed early and then gotten up whenever you wanted before strolling out and picking up a copy for $18 + tax (Costco price), which is what my mom did.




Turns out that my wife, my mom, and myself were not the only Potter-maniacs in the household. The girls were clearly thrilled to finally get their hands on this last novel, gripping the book with an almost disturbing intensity. I am not sure if I heard it right, but I think they may have said their first words. Something about "The Precious". By the way, this series of Potter+Twins picks prominently displays our ultra-cool, many-colored fish rug, the present flooring of the main play area for the girls.



As you can see in this photo, the girls dressed up in their finest Potter regalia: Hand-crafted Onesies that say Potter Geek no matter the generation. For the tiny few who have not been exposed to the phenomenon that is the Potter: a) Get off your high horse. Yes it was written for kids. No it is not the greatest writing. But it is fun and everyone else is reading them. Your air of superiority on this matter is not really winning friends and/or influencing people. b) Rylie is wearing a Class of 2024 Hogwart's School of Wizarding outfit. It is where Potter matriculated (you non-Potter reading types like big words, don't you? -- you smarty-smart-pantses). Kayla's outfit claims her other stroller is a Firebolt, an elite type of flying broom used by Potter. To win Quidditch matches. Yeah, even I think Quidditch is kinda lame, although the made-up name is cool...

Still not impressed? How about this:



Rylie opened the Deathly Hallows without taking the proper anti-jinx precautions and look what happened. Someone's Patronus escaped and began flying around the room buzzing the babies. I had to bludger it out the window like a Quaffle to keep it from transmografying them both. It still wouldn't leave us alone, so I whipped out a Bat-Bogey hex and Aguamenti'd it out of there. And that is not me just picking Harry Potter vocabulary off some website at random.

It really happened.


^ Why does water content drive weather? Because water has just about the highest heat capacity of anything the atmosphere is likely to hold. Warm water can rapidly heat the air, while cold water is equally good at cooling it. Some hot or warm dust will be a very minor effect in comparison. Here's another exciting storm fact: If the Earth had no dry land it might very well create giant storms just like Mars for the same reasons, only you can replace dust with water. There is a reason hurricanes build and build over the Gulf of Mexico but die when they hit land. What if all of Earth was the Gulf of Mexico?^^

^^ First we would be dolphin-people, so that would be kinda cool and storms wouldn't bother us at much. Secondly the snorkeling would be great and the world would run on rum, tobacco, and bananas.^^^

^^^ Well... coral-rum, kelp-tobacco, and aqua-bananas anyway. Mmm, aquabanana. Say that ten times fast.