The Great March Update!



OK, there is nothing actually great about it, but I have been neglecting the blog and I know there are Baby junkies out there who must be getting the shakes real bad by now. Well, the doctor is in, and he has your sweet, sweet medicine. This taste is free. We'll talk more about future pricing later...

This series of photos could be called, "Giving a Baby a Bone", if that were in any way an appropriate sentence. Which it is not. So consider it called something else. I leave it as an exercise to the reader. The star of this light green tale is Kayla. Rylie was out picking up a pizza or something.



I don't have a deep thought or important historical lesson today, so I'll just toss out the latest facts. We visited the in-laws and the girls met their cousin Melky for the first time. If I am good, I'll post some of those photos next time.

We are going into the final stages of preparation for our big house remodel. If we are at home, we are probably packing something. We have yet to pick our contractor, but I think we should have that done in about a week (you don't want to know all the spreadsheets we got going on) and then we get a start date, which will also include a move out date. Probably mid- to late- april.



The girls are presently fascinated by their own feet, acting continuosly like they were startled to suddenly discover them there and then suspicious that they follow them around so closely. If they could just finally outwit the five-toed devils they could get them into their mouths, a final resting place for anything that incurs their dreaded wrath. Believe me, you should do your best to avoid such a fate. It is kinda slimey.

Work is slow. I have been trying to muster the ability to finish a paper before things get crazy in mid-April, but I am constantly being distracted by minor work items, construction planning, babies, and er-hmm... blogs. At least baseball starts soon. That ought to improve my work efficiency.

OK, I think that hits the highlights. I will try and be more focused next time. I have been working on a new project (very hush-hush) that may interest all the Hole-in-the-Ground fans. More on that next time. I leave you with a very disturbing piece of evidence that my daughter has become romantically involved with a stuffed monkey. My first instinct is to banish her from the home for the shame this brings her family, but I know I must be supportive and welcome her and her Jingle Monkey beau to the family. But if that plush simian hurts her... Well, let us just say that while I do not presently own a shotgun, one can be purchased without a waiting period.

Rubber Ducky, You're The One...



Welcome to the exciting bath time blog post! If there is anything cuter than a baby, it is a baby in bath water. Just remember to always remove the baby before throwing out said water.

I think I read that somewhere.

The title, of course, comes from the classic Sesame Street Ernie classic, "Rubber Ducky". Some sample lyrics:

Rubber Ducky, you're the one,
You make bathtime lots of fun,
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you;

Woo woo be doo

Rubber Ducky, joy of joys,
When I squeeze you, you make noise!
Rubber Ducky, you're my very best friend, it's true!

Doo doo doo doo, doo doo

Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who's
Cute and yellow and chubby

Rub-a-dub-a-dubby!

My apologies to any recent immigrants to this country, who somehow managed to lumber through the dregs of their young lives without the essential joy that is a muppet. I am always astounded that two cultures can co-exist that didn't learn to count from the Count. One Two Three... A-ha-ha-ha. A similar case can be made for a lot of our children's books and television. Apparently American culture doesn't yet permeate down to the very lowest levels of society (and what could be lower than a 4 year old). Another example: People in India have never heard of Dr. Seuss, Green Eggs and Ham, or the Star-Bellied Sneech.

Astonishing.



For each one of these blogs I gather together whatever my latest footage may be, select the cream of the crop, tweak the contrast, remove red eye, resize the image, and save it into a to-be-blogged folder. As I was going through these adorable bath time photos (which all turned out to be Rylie, check the distinctive belly button/hernia), my lovely bride insistently pointed out that I could not post anything "below the belt" as it were, because of perverts and weirdos.

My first response was that was absurd. Then I thought a little more aboout the internet and the depths to which it can sink. Depths that make the Marianas Trench(max depth 11 km) look like a kiddy pool. Sadly I agreed, so most of these are judiciously cropped. However, I really did want to give an accurate impression of what the bathing area was like. If nothing else, I am known for my journalistic integrity. So I include this photo with the tamper-proof black square, safe for all ages.



As most of you have probably noticed by now, I have switched to a new blog template. This occurred after months of harassment from Blogspot insisting I update to the latest in blog technology. There are a few changes, but so far it seems darn similar. Maybe on some day of maximum procrastination I will explore its new features fully. I am sure somewhere is a knob I can turn to hypnotize my readers into purchasing Kicker of Elves-themed products. Maybe a frisbee with my face on it, I don't know. Something terrifying, that is certain.

Yes, today's posting was a bit rambling, I will admit. I promise to continue edumacating y'all next time. Maybe we will finally cover the Chinese cultural revolution, as I promised so long ago (check the archives... it's there.) I leave you with a non-bath time photo of the girls wearing matching hooded sweatshirts. We can't decide if it makes them look more like gansta rappers, boxers, or Jedi.

K-Mac... Now, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time...